


That Cursed Bleeding Heart

by The_Marron



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Introspection, Spoilers for the Civil War, Wanda-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-08
Updated: 2016-05-08
Packaged: 2018-06-07 03:22:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6783205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Marron/pseuds/The_Marron
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wanda's life had been marked by Tony Stark's wrong life choices. </p><p>Contains Spoilers for Captain America: Civil War</p>
            </blockquote>





	That Cursed Bleeding Heart

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ascel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ascel/gifts).



> So, it was born mostly a) out of love for Wanda's character in Civil War, I adored her there and b) me being generally fed up with world being fucked up because Tony Stark has issues. Yes, we get it, he is hurt in more ways than one. But making a whole movie called 'Captain America' about poor and hurt Tony Stark is too much for me, especially since Wanda has much more reasons to for example kill him, and yet she doesn't. 
> 
> So it is more of me rumbling about Wanda than a proper fic, but hey, we all need our way of dealing with this movie.

The room was too big.

It wasn't empty, it was better furnished than any house Wanda had previously lived in, but, it was still too spacious.

She looked at Clint, who was giving her that soft look of his, conveying understanding.

"We always shared rooms." She said as the way of explanation and he simply nodded.

Pietro liked Clint, too much as it seemed, considering how he died. And yet Wanda couldn't bring herself to blame Clint, not after he brought Pietro's body with him, not after all these evenings he spent with her instead of going to his family, talking her through and letting her come to terms with grief. He wasn't Pietro and never will be, nor was he her father, but right now he was the closest she got to a family and she was grateful.

The pain never went away.

Sometimes there were moments when she would start to talk, only in the middle of the sentence remembering that her brother could no longer answer. There were moments when she couldn't bring herself to look into the mirror, afraid of finding traces of him in her own face, in her eyes. He was gone. The first six months after they took her from Sokovia, Wanda spent with Clint and Laura. She was there when Pietro Nathaniel was born and it somehow helped. She didn't believe in reincarnation, not even close, and yet the moment she saw the baby she felt like something of Pietro had survived. Clint was her greatest help and it was by his advice that she finally decided to move to the Avengers facility, despite it being founded by Tony Stark.

Clint's hand on her arm brought her back to reality, chasing away the thoughts.

"Will you be alright?" His tone had this slightly mocking lilt to it, but she felt his concern hidden behind the facade of calm. She nodded.

"It would be easier if you stayed here as well." She confessed, putting her own hand on his."But I'll manage." At least she would try. She had no idea how she was going to work with the rest of the Avengers when Clint wasn't there. Thankfully, Tony Stark won't be a frequent guest, but the rest of the team was too more inclined to see her as a threat than an ally. She deserved that, after all she had put them through. Steve was still reserved, but he at least tried to let her know she was welcome. That was more than the rest of the team even attempted to do.

"If you want to, you can come back with me, there's no pressure for you..." She stopped him right there.

"Someone told me that the moment I step out of the door I'm an Avenger. And if I'm an Avenger, my place is here. He didn't die for nothing." Pietro died because they both believed in the cause, in protecting the Earth from Ultron. Pietro was a hero and she couldn't be anything less.

When she looked up at Clint, he was smiling the same smile he directed at his little son whenever he did something right. He was proud, she realized, proud of her. It gave her some kind of warmth she couldn't name.

She often teased Pietro that he had an unreasonable crush on Clint, always wanting to show off somehow, to impress and mock him, practically celebrating whenever Clint pushed back. She didn't understand what Pietro saw in Clint then, but she did now.

She will not fail either of them.

"I won't disappoint." She promised.

*

First months were harder than she assumed they would be.

It took time to understand that no one would order her to be 'decommissioned', as Von Strucker called it, if she proved not to be as effective as they would like.

She remembered them all, the lifeless bodies of other 'patients'. Some of them didn't even survive the first phase of the experiment. Their bodies looked normal when they took them from their cells. The ones whose bodies rejected the Scepter later, did not resemble humans at all when Wanda watched as they were taken to be disposed of.

And then there were those who failed. Who were unable to carry out their orders. Ones who gave in to their own screams and lost their minds.

She was on the brink of that, once. Her cell becoming her whole world, powers taking her over, mingling reality with dreams, almost controlling her.

Pietro was struggling too, but they managed. They survived, vengeance giving them the strength, the focus. Only the thought of fighting the Avengers, of fighting Tony Stark allowed them to see the end of the experiments. And now Pietro was no longer here and she was living with people she actively tried to hurt less than a year ago.

Though no one was openly hostile, no one was exactly friendly either. Aside from Steve. He was... understanding. He was the one who let them help after all, that first time. And he seemed to consider Wanda his responsibility, or at least some kind of a protégée. He was busy, but he always had time to just _be_. He helped her with her powers, training with her on her bad days till she dropped. He was looking out for her whenever they were in the field, though it took her a while to notice. He didn't want to coddle her, but at the same time... She felt somehow important to him.

Yet he wasn't always there.

Steve and Sam would disappear for some time, looking for someone they called 'Bucky' and Natasha would be left in charge of all of them. There was something in her that frightened Wanda. She saw the archives Natasha put in the Internet, she was well aware of what the woman could do, and nothing she did for the KGB actually bothered Wanda that much. She saw many things in Von Strucker's labs. But still, having accessed Natasha's worst nightmares, the emotional baggage it involved... Natasha never said anything about it and Wanda didn't want to start this particular topic, but she was aware of the calculating, suspicious glances Black Widow sent her way.

Vision was slightly better, though she still couldn't make out what exactly he was. Human? Program? Celestial being?

"I have no idea myself." He answered her one day, when she felt brave enough to ask. They were sitting outside, on the grass, enjoying the weather."I am what I am and it must be enough for me."

"You don't feel the need to find an answer?"

"Do you?" She fell silent at that. Was she even human anymore? She concentrated and soon there was a bulb of energy dancing on her palm. Some of the Avengers had tech, some had super-serums. And there she was, blessed with mythical powers, same ones that created Vision. Same ones that changed Pietro.

"I guess. I am not sure what I see when I look in the mirror." His eyes were always so calm, so soft... It was disconcerting.

"I understand you don't mean it in a literal sense?" She laughed, not sure if he was joking. With Vision one may never know. "Why do you want to know? Shouldn't it be enough for you to just be as you are?"

She pondered on it for a moment.

"Not really. Because if I don't know who I am, no one knows. Everyone looks at me and sees something else, assuming it to be true. And even though I don't feel they see the real me, I have no argument to say they are wrong. Because I myself don't know the correct answer."

They sat in silence for a while, both lost in their thoughts.

"I was led to believe it was normal in humans, especially young ones. So, maybe a human, for a start?" She gave him a smile for that, feeling slightly better all of a sudden.

Maybe they both could understand each other better than she thought.

*

Wanda didn't like Tony Stark.

She acknowledged the errors of her ways when manipulating him into Ultron's plot, she acknowledged things he did for the Avengers and things he tried to do for the world. And yet she couldn't forget that missile lying in front of her, the white letters spelling _Stark Industries_ that she had engraved in her mind, and the dismissive way Tony Stark denied any involvement in this. "It was never my life" he had said then, treating them as unimportant strangers.

And now he put her under a house-arrest with Vision as her guardian. Because there were victims and he felt _responsible_.

She too, felt responsible. It was her fault that the building exploded, she couldn't control her powers. She was afraid, so afraid that the bomb will go off, that Steve will die before her eyes that she panicked. The moment she let the panic take over it was out of her hands, her powers refusing to listen, her emotions working against her. _Your fear is your barrier_ , Clint told her once over phone when she called him in tears, asking him to take her back, telling him that she was too weak, that she was more dangerous than helpful because her powers were unharnessed and she wasn't able to change it. He told her that he believed in her, in her ability to get it right. As she watched the news from Lagos, she wondered if he still believed. She didn't.

"It's to protect you..." Vision had said, after luring her with false affection.

"Protect me?!" She spat. " Stark has no right to keep me in. He has no jurisdiction over me, I never signed a thing!"She shouted, feeling her anger growing." And yet, somehow Tony Stark feels entitled to refuse me any way of setting right the wrongs I, myself had made. He gave himself the right to start over, to atone for his mistakes but keeps me a prisoner?! " Vision was looking at her pleadingly, hurt shining in his inhuman eyes. On any other day she would be concerned about it, but not today.

"Am I more dangerous than him, a man who made deals with terrorists in his time?! The man who created a mad AI who tried to destroy my homeland?! He brought Ultron, he is responsible for Sokovia! He is responsible for..." She stopped herself. She spent months to convince herself that Tony Stark was not to blame for Pietro's death. That it was Ulton who was at fault, he pulled the trigger that took Pietro from her, not Tony Stark. And yet, somehow her life seemed to be marked by Tony Stark, cursed by the man's existence. She tried to calm her breathing, hoping to somehow reign in her anger. Causing an explosion of her energy would only prove damned Stark right.

"Wanda, I..."

"I'm not interested in what you have to say right now."

*

She should've known that there was one person who will never let her down. Clint. He came for her, he saved her and gave her purpose again.

She hated what she had to do to Vision, she hated it with passion. But he would've never let her go, his will as bound to Tony Stark's will as it was in his previous life.

"It was necessary. And you didn't hurt him too much." Clint told her from his driving seat as they drove through Germany, a strange man in the back, sleeping.

"How do you know?" Her voice cracked.

"Because you didn't want to. Give yourself some credit." She didn't bother with fighting tears. She should cry while she still could. The Avengers were split and she had chosen her side. Still, joining the Avengers she felt like she was finally coming clean, like she could atone, repair the mistakes from the past. That she could be the good one now. Right now they were not fighting the bad guys. They were fighting each other.

"It's terrifying. " She said and Clint seemed to know that she is no longer talking about the fight with Vision. Or at least, not only about it.

"It's not the first time we are fighting among ourselves. I mean, I once tried to kill Nat." As usual, his tone was light. "Though it is the first time we are fighting each other out of our own free will."

 _No_ , she thought, _we are fighting each other out of Tony Stark's will._

*

It would be easy to give into her own anger, her hatred that burned inside her the moment the other party refused to let them go. It would be so easy to go and fight Stark on her own and finally take his revenge on him, to let him taste the pain and bitterness he caused. But that was a trap she stepped in once before. She learned her lesson, so did Pietro. She would be consumed by it, her powers overtaking her as they did the moment Pietro died.

She was stronger now.

So she fought everyone else, carefully avoiding confrontation with Stark. Even when he brought a kid, a damned kid with him to the battlefield, even when he still spat his self-righteous words at anybody who wanted to listen, she kept her focus on others. They were supposed to cover the Captain. To let him leave the airport and stop the real enemy.

_Tony Stark is not the enemy._

_Tony Stark is not **the** enemy. _

And yet he certainly behaved like one.

*

He let them be taken by Ross.

Somehow she still couldn't believe it. Despite everything she felt for Stark ,she still somehow trusted him, her teammate on more than one occasion to somehow side with them, to protect them. But no, he stood aside as they were taken and that was it. Still, they were successful. Captain and his friend, this Bucky as she learned, were where they were supposed to be. Thanks to Natasha's sudden change of sides, it turned out, but still. They did it. The real threat was being dealt with, without Tony Stark as an obstacle.

It took all of her strength not to lash out at Vision and Stark as they escorted her in bounds to the chopper.

When she was put in her cell, she saw that she should have let go.

She was back.

The restraints, the light, the loneliness, never ending loneliness...

She was back in the cell, because of Tony Stark...

She was back in the cell.

_She was back._

And Pietro wasn't here this time to ground her.

*

Hours seem to mix and mingle, everyone not much different than the other.

She has no idea whether it is day or night. Soon, she stops caring. Clint tries to talk to her, to somehow keep her with them, keep her sane. But her powers are now contained within her and she can do nothing to stop them from filtering into her mind. They turn against her, her own nightmares horrifying and so, so real. She doesn't have to close her eyes to see her parents dead faces, to hear Pietro's fading voice. To see Tony Stark's face twisted in hatred.

Clint's voice is the only thing that can wake her up and she clings to every syllable he utters to remain sane, to stay here. She cannot slip into madness, if she slips if she... they will dispose of her, _white sheets, blood on the tiles and silence, deafening silence as yet another cell is left empty_...

Clint is shouting and Wanda doesn't have to look up to know it's Tony Stark himself. Clint asked many times for someone to at least let her be in cell with him, she heard him pleading, claiming that it was too hard on her, that she was to young... Tony Stark's new bosses didn't listen. And now Clint lashes out with all of his anger, his hatred on the man and she simply has to listen. Clint's anger isn't as dangerous as hers might have been.

And then Tony Stark, fully aware of the fact that there were cameras everywhere, mentions Clint's wife and kids. Whose existence was a secret even from the SHIELD, even from HYDRA. Clint told her that he allowed himself to have family only when he was sure that they would be safe. That his way of life would never put them in danger. And he trusted the Avengers with this secret and now Tony Stark throws it out, giving Ross the weapon against Hawkeye. Giving the world an opportunity to hurt Laura and Pietro. To hurt Clint.

Wanda never hated Tony Stark more than she does in that moment.

She lets it consume her, dulling out everything else.

She cannot hear Clint's voice anymore.

*

_Wanda._

_Come on, don't do this to me!_

_Come one, kid, open your eyes!_

When she comes into herself the first face she sees is Clint's.

"What are you...?"

"Oh, god, you are alright." He sighs, his voice wavering. She doesn't fight when he pulls her into hug. Only when she puts her arms around him she notices that she is free.

"You were just staring into distance, your eyes were red and I thought..."He tightens the hug."But you're alright, that's good, that's so good.." He lets her go, helping her to her feet.

The Captain came for them. All of them, Scott, Clint, her. They are free.

"Wanda!" That is Steve, no longer in his Captain America gear. She wants to ask, but they have more pressing things to do. Their escape is far from accomplished.

"They took my suit! Hank will kill me, I think I want to stay here, if it's all the same to you." Scott. Wanda has no idea how Sam knew him, but he seems like an alright guy. He was there when they needed him.

"So what's the plan?" Clint looks around, possibly looking for his bow. It is nowhere in sight.

"Leave here as fast as we can seems like a reasonable one." Sam replies.

"Wanda, I know it was hard, but can you..." She looks Steve straight into eye.

Then, she thinks about Tony Stark, destroying everything she held dear, about Pietro's dead body lying on the raft, about the cell, about Clint's family... She feels the energy surround her. It is barely controllable, but she manages. For once, her emotions help her. She can get them out.

"Yes."

*

It is her second week of lying low in Wakanda when she finally asks about what happened.

It took her time and Clint's unwavering support and patience to get herself to be somehow functional, the nightmares of the cell still alive in her mind, but she is strong enough to move on. If not for herself, then for Clint and Steve. 

She gathered bits of it, like the fact that the Captain doesn't have his shield anymore. Or his walks to a room where he can stare at the frozen man, Bucky, for some time, as if willing him to wake up. She tried watching the news, but Wakanda had their own language she still didn't understand. Sometimes she could see her face, or Steve's on a display and that told her enough. They are still criminals. Runaways.

"Why does he sleep?" She asks finally, sitting down next to Steve, on the tiles in front of the cryo-tube. For a second she is reminded of her talks with Vision. But Vision is no longer on the same side and thinking about him can only hurt. So she stops. Steve is silent for a while.

"He wanted to." She knows better than to press, so she falls quiet. She waits.

"He felt... responsible." He tells her everything.

About Bucky, about Winter Soldier. About Tony Stark's parents. About T'Challa. And maybe, some time ago, she would have found it in herself to somehow sympathize with Stark. To feel sorry for him.

After all, she knew what it meant to lose one's parents and hate the man she held responsible. 

But when she looks at Steve, broken and no longer believing in his own country and himself, shield forgotten, when she looks at Bucky, a man who was brainwashed for almost seventy years and chose to let himself be frozen yet again... When she thinks about Clint, who is too afraid to contact his family and almost driving himself mad with worry whether they had not been already taken as a leverage against him...

She can't find in herself a scrap of sympathy for Tony Stark.

She could deal with her own hurt. With her parent's death, with Sokovia's fall, with Pietro's death. She dealt with it and held her head high. She learned from her own mistakes and left revenge behind.  

But she will never forgive what he had done to Clint. What he had done to Steve and to Bucky, though she didn't know him all that well.

There are limits to things Tony Stark can be forgiven.

She found them in her dark cell.

She will not hunt down Tony Stark, nor will she seek any confrontation with him. She was over that. She grew up, she saw the errors of revenge as clear as T'Challa and she is going to follow his example.

But she will never forgive.

And she will protect people she loves from Tony Stark's _bleeding heart._


End file.
